Define "chronic" masturbator.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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