I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she smelled like a LAN party
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
