yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
