Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
