I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
