dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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