I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
