Say something about gay babies.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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