But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
