she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
