At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
