I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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