so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
