Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
