everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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