Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
