what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
