His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have tasted many bathrooms
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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