Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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