When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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