Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
