i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
