I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
