do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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