i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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