I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
