if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
