we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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