I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
