But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
