How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
