Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
