There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
