if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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