I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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