All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
