so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
