if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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