i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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