yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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