I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
