he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
