is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
