at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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