dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
