Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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