So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
