It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
