i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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