hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
