i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
