weddingsv make me drug and hornr
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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