Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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