Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
