i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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